Rabbits Rejoice Rape!

“…and God help you if you use voice-over in your work, my friends. God help you. That’s flaccid, sloppy writing. Any idiot can write a voice-over narration to explain the thoughts of a character.”

Rebirth of the Rabbit: Bonus Issue #001 – Learn Not to Burn

Kawaii Pattycakes: I like to say sugoi. And this is the most sugoi of all.

prettyprophet: Some people, should they discover that their friends are drawing rape fantasies featuring said people, would freak out and run the hell away. Needless to say, I’m not one of those people.

funny_bunny: I would hope not. We couldn’t BEAR to be without you!

prettyprophet: Remember how we said ‘no more doujinshi’? We were lying. Well, Funny was lying.

Kawaii Pattycakes: A little secret FUNNY thing for Happo Bijin’s Sweet Body!

funny_bunny: So funny, it’s MONEY.

prettyprophet: If you haven’t clicked the comic yet, please do. Please fucking do. Got it? Yeah. Ed finally got Funny to do porn. I know, I know, Funny’s did this before. This is nothing new. But drawing his friends, although copied from hentai artists, and slipping it into releases? Yeah, that’s Funny for you.

Kawaii Pattycakes: Aren’t you flattered? I like Pyro Jack’s breasts more than your breasts.

prettyprophet: Thanks, slut. Anyways, since it was me who ‘starred’ in this shit, I’m explaining it, fuck off Funny.

Panel One

For those not in the know: the Incubus is Ed, Baphomet is Ink, Nyx is Lavie, and Pyro’s me. Even though this is ostensibly Megaten, I emphasize the fact that pretty much everything is taken from random bits of our lives. Yes, World Tree Madness, blah blah blah, but we ditched it for Usagiten.

So this conversation really did happen. If you know Ed, this shouldn’t surprise you one bit. Funny copied off Nekoi Mie for Pyro’s face, mainly because of our wonderful discussion on relations between Nekoi and Chika Umino. PS: Umino’s not Nekoi, so Pat, shut it.

Panel Two

This probably came from one of our talks on what was under the Pyro Jack’s cloak. Funny’s in love with Mechafetus and remembered that Pyro girl. Don’t ask me how that turned into him copying off the hentai circle Zettai Shoujo. Pat loves Raita, the artist. And before you go, “Oh Pat’s a girl, what is she, a lesbo dyke??”…this is the girl who INSISTED funbuns to do Sweet Body. You know what she also insists? Fucking yaoi by the bish-load. Look, Pat and Ed, they know their obscure asian shit, even more than me.

Panel Three

Oh Nekoi, you’re a darling. Yes, this came from a Nekoi Mie doujinshi, I forget which one. Funny forgets which one. And Pat is completely in her Melty Blood zone so I can’t get her attention. Oh, the moment I start talking about doujinshi she snaps out of it. Here we go: Digital Love. Hey, I recognize this. I think funny was going to use it for the Umino Rabbit Reveal…but we chose the FLCL instead because…it’s fucking FLCL porn.

Also, ‘boss’. I’m not even bothering to explain that.

Panel Four

In reality, I never did hear Ed talk about wanting to rape me. What happened was me and Pat (not me and Lavie) walked up to them and Funny, who was there, just points at Ed and goes, “ED WANTS TO RAPE YOU”. And Ed? He’s all, “Tadow bitch. Whacha gonna do?” And that was essentially that.

No, the entire issue wasn’t really about Ed’s rape fantasies although I bet funny had a kick drawing them. Everything is about the punchline from Lavie: “Rape. It isn’t funny.” Ok, here I go with a long-ass explanation for all you kids out there.

It was me, Pat, Ed, and Funny. We were sitting around before class started, I don’t know why Ed was there because he wasn’t in the class, whatever. So Ed and Pat are arguing because apparently Pat tried to rape Ed by lacing his drink the other night. Pat, in a moment of bizarre rationalism, counters with the fact that Ed hit her up with absinthe “just to see what she’d do”. I’m not joking, that’s all he wanted to know; I was there and I brought her to my house. Anyways, so we were sitting there, talking about whether or not Ed raping Pat would actually be rape, considering that a) she enjoys it b) Ed’s her boyfriend c) she’s as equally likely to try some sort of fucked up sexual shit with him. Light topic, lots of laughs.

Class ends. We all get ready to leave. Out of NOWHERE, this one guy with loads of sweat on his forehead who we’ve seen once or twice in the class, just stops in front of us and says, “Rape. It’s not funny.”

Now if it was just me, Pat and Funny, we would’ve been like “Wtf yo, get out.” Funny would’ve definitely cracked up. No, it wasn’t just us.

Ed just freezes and stares right into the guy’s eyes, gives his trademark sneer, and says: “Bitch, it’s hilarious.”

So that was the first and last time that one guy ever talked to us. Probably because we constantly repeat that phrase everyday now. Whenever someone mentions rape? “Shut the fuck up. Rape? Not funny!” In a way, it’s kinda scary because if there was ever a “shit’s about to go down” moment in a fucking linguistics class…that would be it. Plus if that kid goes off the deep end, we’d be on his hit list.

And now you all know the story behind that line.

funny_bunny: Wow, I really liked that story! Especially because I was in it!

Kawaii Pattycakes: I miss that guy. He once wore a Castlevania tee!

prettyprophet: Oh, you mean like Nate’s Castlevania tee? Fucking gross.

Kawaii Pattycakes: That’s exactly it!

prettyprophet: Ok, I don’t know where we’re going with this anymore. Um, Ed got Funny into a rape fantasy which was really just a medium so Funny could use the rape line. This was all Ed and Funny because I wouldn’t have let that shit slide. Course, since Funbuns is chief, if he wants to draw his friends in sexual misadventures, he can. He can because I can’t stop him. What I can do, is ridicule him mercilessly in later issues.

funny_bunny: Good gameplan!

Kawaii Pattycakes: Thumbs up! WHEN’S YAOI?

funny_bunny: NO MORE DOUJINSHI! OPERATION BIGTIME SHOWTIME BEGINS.

prettyprophet: It’s a go-go.

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